Unsurprisingly, Americans value some holidays more than others, but have you ever wondered how some of them stack up to their peers? How does Father’s Day compare to the Fourth of July? Saint Patrick’s Day to Groundhog Day? We’ve put together a list that will hopefully answer all these questions.
Black Friday is the worst holiday celebrated by the United States. It isn’t even close either, as no other holiday has a widespread counter for injuries and fatalities associated with it. Blackfridaydeathcount.com, an updated site since 2006, continues to supply the internet with a stream of Black Friday tragedies. With 17 recorded deaths and 125 recorded injuries, and Black Friday dying out and slowly being replaced by Cyber Monday, it’s not hard to see why Thanksgiving’s second fiddle finds itself at the very bottom of this list.
While it’s not hard to be a better holiday than Black Friday, some fall short of their peers and have settled down into the D-tier. Whereas Black Friday is actively detrimental to people’s well-being, April Fools’ Day and Groundhog Day are simply underwhelming. In other words, they feel less like holidays and more like absurd inside jokes.
It feels somewhat ironic that April Fools’ isn’t even the funniest holiday; that honor goes to Groundhog Day, the most absurd holiday created by the United States. It’s hard not to sound insane when explaining Groundhog Day, seeing as the glorified weather forecast revolves around whether or not a groundhog gets scared by his own shadow. One would think that after the 6th year or so, Punxsutawney Phil – yes, they named the groundhog – would have realized that he doesn’t need to be scared of his own shadow anymore, but he’s managed to maintain his act all these years and land his holiday in D-tier.
C-tier is where the unfortunate majority of American holidays lie. Holidays like Memorial Day, make their home in this spot. While almost every holiday in the tier has a good deal of symbolic meaning, they often don’t have the same cultural impact as they should. These holidays should be much higher, but they just don’t get the attention they really deserve!
For example, Labor Day is rarely celebrated with its intended meaning in mind. Honoring the men and women who built America and the accomplishments of the American labor movement should be a holiday held in pretty high regard. However, the holiday has primarily been reduced to a turning point on the calendar – signaling the end of summer break and heralding in the school year – and a three-day weekend.
B-tier is where the holidays like St. Patrick’s Day, New Year’s, Day of the Dead, and Easter fit into the list and is also where this list’s holidays start to become more exciting. Most of these holidays are pretty good but not quite elite; Easter is a great example, provided you don’t have any traumatic memories of the Easter Bunny. However, New Year’s Day is undoubtedly the best in the tier, letting you acknowledge last year’s ups and downs and giving you a new year to start fresh.
A-tier is for the holidays that are still great but have been held back from S-tier. The Fourth of July deserves lots of recognition, essentially being New Year’s Day but during the summer. Watching the fireworks fly on The Fourth is a feeling like no other, and it makes you proud to be American.
Valentine’s Day is an extremely polarizing holiday, as no other holiday is entirely as dependent on the person celebrating it as Valentine’s is. Depending on who you are, it could be a day you look forward to for months or the one day of the year that you dread more than any other, but because of this holiday’s potential, it has been carefully placed in A-tier.
S-tier is home to the trifecta of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. In addition to each being only a month apart from the other, each holiday brings unique celebrations. With the biggest parties being a tossup between Halloween and Christmas, and Thanksgiving being known for its food more than anything, it’s hard to find someone who dislikes all three of these holidays. These three are the holidays that the whole country looks forward to, and there will always be at least one person going all out to make them unique.